


Black Jungle Remixed

by doctor_bitchface_phd



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life
Genre: Angst, Naga AU by Spacewriting, Naga Benrey, Nonbinary Benrey (Half-Life), Nonbinary Tommy, Other, benny real snake hours, benrey cant communicate well and it causes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctor_bitchface_phd/pseuds/doctor_bitchface_phd
Summary: Gordon finds something interesting in the jungle.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 26
Kudos: 151





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Black Jungle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25199158) by [Spacewriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacewriting/pseuds/Spacewriting). 



> This concept and AU belongs to Spacewriting. Please check out their version of it! https://archiveofourown.org/works/25199158/chapters/61073482

Gordon Freeman was tired. His shoulders sagged as he peered blearily at the flickering television screen and ran fingers through his sweat-soaked, grimy hair; he cringed as he felt more than a couple leaves and sticks dislodge. Gordon had spent around three days in a hot, humid hellscape of bloodthirsty insects, leech-infested rivers, and the unrelenting asshattery of the many troops of monkeys far above in the canopy. They would scream and cackle at him, always an inch away from his ear yet a mile from an extended fist as he trekked through the heartland of their territory. 

The camera he had currently selected showed a troop of the infernal primates sleeping high in the relative shelter of the canopy; their wiry little bodies finally relatively still and silent. Gordon spotted the sleek, muscular tail of an absolutely massive black snake, and perked up a bit; this should be exciting. He watched with amusement as the reptile crawled towards the unsuspecting primates, slowly moving into a position to strike. Though the head was out of frame, he could tell that it likely wasn’t one of the native boa constrictors from the size and color. An invasive species, maybe? He pondered the serpent’s origins in the back of his mind as he watched the smooth length of scaly muscle lunge forward, too fast for the camera to capture, and retract back with its prey.

Rationally speaking, there should have been a few more feet of snake wrapped around a monkey, with a small, rhombus-shaped head at the end. Instead, there was what appeared at first to be a human torso fused to the end of the snake where its head and neck should be. The creature’s head was large and blocky, with a heavy-set jaw and two lidded, golden-yellow elapine eyes that almost seemed to glow like spotlights in the dark jungle. Its chest was bare and pale, peppered with small, black-blue scales, and its clawed hands were wrapped around the neck of a monkey, slowly squeezing the life out of the little thing. Gordon watched, horrified yet unable to look away as the snake-thing opened its fanged jaws far wider than any human should be able to, and swallowed the fresh corpse of the primate whole.

Gordon was sure that he was hallucinating. It was the only semi-reasonable explanation for what he had seen through the cameras. He desperately flipped through the book on south american flora he had brought, trying to find out if there was some strange fungi or plant that could make people see shit. In the back of his mind, the rational part of him knew this was pointless, considering that he had made sure not to eat anything he hadn’t brought with him. As he fumbled with a book on common reptiles of the area, the researcher’s blood ran cold as he heard the tent flap being unzipped behind him, and he felt cold wind and rain whip against his back. Though he reassured himself that, logically speaking, it almost definitely wasn’t the snake, his efforts blew out the window as he turned around to see the tent flap opened, with none other than a massive human torso bending down to peer into the tent with hypnotizing, terrifying eyes. 

Gordon’s legs wavered and gave out beneath him, and he fell backwards onto the canvas floor, scooting backwards to get as much space between himself and the snake-creature as the walls of the tent would allow. His heart throbbed in his chest as he watched, horrified, as the snake-creature slithered into his tiny refuge; its sleek, muscular snake half brushed against his leg at one point, and he was surprised at how warm it felt.

As the human portion of the snake loomed closer and closer above him, Gordon dared to glance up, and was both horrified and fasciated by what he saw. The human part of the snake was far larger than it first appeared; the torso alone was nearly as long as he was. The creature’s hands faded into a dark blue from the elbows down, and its fingers were tipped with wicked-looking claws. Darkish black-blue and shimmering, the snake’s abdomen ended in scales, while the belly of the serpent half was dark gray.

Its face was heavy and square, with a strong, low jaw, a large, straight nose, and half-lidded eyes that seemed to run his soul through on twin laser beams. Those damn eyes, they somehow managed to look bored and predatory at the same time. Sharp fangs jutted down from between its lips, yellowish and razor sharp. Gordon didn’t want to find out if there was venom behind them.

The intruding beast glanced around the tent, its slit-eyes falling on the prone researcher before it. It peered down at Gordon, still wearing a completely apathetic expression as it examined the terrified man; it moved forward, and its heavy, muscular tail pinned his legs to the ground.

“this is- nice, uh, nice place you got here, bro.”

It spoke in a monotone voice, deep, yet not particularly intimidating. Gordon’s hands began to shake as he considered his options. He shifted and struggled under the weight of the snake’s tail, trying in vain to free himself from its weight. His knife was in the bag behind the snake, on the other side of the tent, well out of his reach. The snake-creature stared blankly into space; the prostrate scientist could practically hear the gears turning in its head. It looked down at Gordon, its eyes still betraying the same apathy, and said,

“have you ever heard of vore?”

Gordon panicked and began thrashing wildly, swinging at any part of the snake he could reach. His fist connected with the snake’s underbelly at some point, and it whuffed in surprise, opting to turn around and retreat towards the open tent flap.

“i- bro, just calm down- ow-”

The monstrous thing slithered hurriedly out of the tent, still being trailed by a frenzied Gordon, whaling on its tail with admittedly weak punches. He was finally able to shove the rest of the beast out and lock down the zipper, at the very least giving him the illusion of security. 

Gordon checked the tent for any tears the thing might have made, pointedly ignoring the fact that if it came back and wanted to get at him again, it could almost certainly just tear through the thin nylon with its claws. Finding nothing, he finally decided to sleep, reasoning that even if the monster came back, he couldn’t do much to stop it anyways. He grabbed his hunting knife from the now reachable backpack, and wiggled into his sleeping bag.

Clutching the knife like a lifeline, Gordon finally allowed himself to drift into the warm indifference of sleep.


	2. Unsteady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unwanted visitor returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWOOGA

Very slowly, the dappled light shining through canopy and nylon alike became uncomfortably bright, slowly rousing gordon from his precious few hours of fitful, restless sleep. As his mind returned to the waking world, nightmares faded into formless shadow, melting into a nameless, instinctual dread that lingered in the back of Freeman’s mind as he dragged himself from the emotional safety of the warm sleeping bag. Outside, insects chittered and hummed, while birds chirped and sang; their melodies were cut through with sharp, agitated caterwauling; the unmistakable sound of pissed off monkeys.

As Gordon unlocked the zipper, the memory of an inexplicable monster rushed back to him. Leering golden eyes drilled into him from his mind, and he found himself hesitant to pull the zipper back. He took a moment to reassure himself; if it wanted to kill him, why not come back while he was asleep? Rationally speaking, he wouldn’t have woken up if it wanted to kill him. With these condolences, Gordon peeled the zipper back and crawled through the tent flap.

The first thing the researcher registered was the distinct crinkle of someone struggling with foil packaging. The second thing he registered was a familiar looming figure, with its long, muscular tail draped over some low-lying branches, and its torso hovering over his ratfucked bag, massive, clawed hands fumbling with a bag of doritos; the packet looked comically small in the snake’s oversized talons. The beast continued fiddling with the bag, trying in vain to reach the nacho cheese-flavored prize within while Gordon stood in shocked silence. 

A tiny squeak escaped the scientist’s throat, and he fumbled desperately for the hunting knife, his frantic search of the tent set to the noise of the snake’s continued efforts to open a chip bag; it would have been hilarious if he wasn’t terrified.

As his sweat-drenched palm closed around the cool hilt of the blade, Gordon wheeled around, extending the knife to perform what could ostensibly be called a threatening gesture. It took the monster a moment to notice the researcher; as it looked up from the chips, the same golden-yellow eyes met Gordon’s, and in the light of the sun, he could see them in full detail, the slit-pupils surrounded by a dozen shades of yellow, like inclusions in a well-cut gem. 

“wh- uhh, hey bro, glad you’re up, can you help me with this?” The snake’s face betrayed no more emotion than it did the night before, and Gordon found himself becoming enraged at the apparent flippancy.

“Really, man? Just gonna sit around go through my fucking food like you didn’t threaten to fucking vore me last night??” 

The beast’s face somehow managed to become even more blank; its elapine eyes unfocused from Gordon’s and stared into the jungle, where the aforementioned monkeys continued shrieking their alarm at the two beings conversing on the forest floor. 

“whuh?”

Gordon’s face contorted into an enraged snarl, and he began shouting.

“DON’T FUCKING PRETEND YOU DIDN’T!! I- Jesus, this can’t be fucking real, right?? I’m hallucinating or some shit, I must be.”

The snake seemed to ponder this for a moment; their talons went still for a moment.

“what can’t be real?”

The researcher dragged his palm down his face and groaned, long and low, almost reminiscent of an alligator in heat. He was quite honestly terrified of the creature, but he reasoned that if it was going to try to kill him, he might as well try to put up a fight. Gordon steadied his grip on the knife and tensed.

“Look, man, I don’t know what the fuck you are, but why don’t you stop fucking around and just get it over with, huh?” Gordon’s voice cracked at the end, betraying his absolute fear.

“ ‘m not a man. hey why are you pointing that at me? i’m just chillin, bro.”

Gordon was confused; why hadn’t the thing attacked yet? It wasn’t moving to strike; it still just sat there, sleek tail coiled around branches, and torso leaning down to snoop through his bag for food. The scientist suddenly got an idea. As it continued fruitlessly clawing at the dorito bag, Gordon steeled himself and mustered all the courage in his body, and forced himself to take a few steps forward.

The snake’s piercing, spotlight eyes locked onto the knife, its face twinging so slightly that the researcher almost missed it. Gordon caught himself and sheathed the blade, wanting to preserve what could almost, maybe be likened to an unsteady truce. 

“Hey, you- you uh, maybe want some help with that?”

He tried to keep his voice steady, but he was acutely aware of the many breaks in his voice as the snake stared wide-eyed at him; they slowly extended the chip bag, letting Gordon pop the seal and grant access to the desired nacho-cheese junk food. The snake-creature slowly grabbed a massive handful of chips, nearly the whole bag, and ducked their face into their palm, opting to take a bite out of every chip at once.

“So- uh, do you have a name, or. . . ?”

Gordon stammered, simultaneously eager to learn more about the strange snake-person, and uneager to offend. The snake looked up from their dorito massacre and murmured,

“. . . benrey”

Their voice was so quiet that Gordon almost missed it; the sudden change in volume led him to believe that “Benrey” was either very shy, or, for whatever reason, uneager to share their name.

“Benrey? I- I like it! Did- did you pick it out yourself?”

Benrey looked up and met his eyes for a moment, then returned to licking their talon, now completely coated in artificial cheese dust. Gordon assumed they weren’t up for anymore questioning, and slowly picked up his bag, moving to begin packing up. 

Yellow eyes followed his movements like lasers as he rolled up his sleeping bag and stuffed it down into his relinquished rucksack, then yanked the tent stakes out of the damp, muddy soil, allowing the patented Black Mesa Automatic Tent to fold itself into a compact rectangle of plastic and aluminum, which was strapped to the outside to preserve volume, which was volume well spent on storing essentials like a tiny camp stove, a can of purplish fuel gel, a map, binoculars, food, a water filter, and a set of cameras, along with a shitty LCD monitor to connect them to.

Gordon finally finished packing, and slung the heavy bag over his shoulders, still feeling Benrey’s wide slit-eyes tracking him. As he started down the faded trail, choked out by the ever-encroaching vegetation, he caught movement from the corner of his eye, and watched as the snake-person slithered down from their perch in the trees and joined him at his side. Gordon suddenly noticed just how massive Benrey was; his entire arm couldn’t reach across their broad shoulders.

As they walked and slithered, respectively, in silence, Gordon tried to focus on the chitter of exotic bird fluttering in the canopy, the monkeys leaping from branch to branch to avoid the duo, and the lush, colorful flora surrounding them rather than the rapidly thinning path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A W O O G A


	3. Obscured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wuh oh

One boot in front of the other. You’ll find the path eventually.

Gordon knew he was lying to himself. He had retraced his steps to a tee, yet found nothing but damp ferns, strange, vivid flowers, chattering primates, and a glaring lack of tread-on dirt. The jungle’s cacophony disoriented him; the numbers of unidentified sounds, the chittering and groaning and howling that echoed through the dense, obscuring foliage did little to soothe his psyche. His disquiet was not eased by Benrey, who suddenly dropped down next to him from the tree they had slithered into earlier.

The snake readjusted their height, pulling themself up on more of their tail to try to match the height of the “Gorman”. As they slithered next to the human in silence, they couldn’t help but study the new person. Being a snake living in the modern era, Benrey obviously knew about humans, but they had never gotten the chance, or, quite frankly, the desire to come closer to one. Their scar twinged at the thought, and they subtly lowered themself to appear shorter; Benrey knew what happened when humans got scared.

Though they had their fair share of bad memories regarding humans, the serpent still had a healthy curiosity, and they found themselves fascinated by Gorman. They appeared to be almost monkey-like at first glance, but with far shorter arms, and stronger legs. Their posture was different too, almost prouder; they definitely carried themself with more respect than the damnable primates above, anyways. Their hands were pale and stubby; each finger was tipped with a short, flat bit of nail rather than a claw. Their eyes were especially strange; with the whites of their eyes always visible, they looked constantly agitated, almost aggressive. Gorman turned around, having apparently sensed being stared at, and met Benrey’s own slitted eyes. Benrey saw the nervousness on the human’s face, saw the discomfort in the way they glanced back over their shoulder after turning back around, and they felt. . . sorry? They didn’t pity the human, not when they could just as easily turn around and gut them with that knife, but they almost felt guilty at having caused discomfort. 

Benrey knew that, considering what had happened, no, what had been done to them, they shouldn’t feel guilty or sorry for any human, much less one that had attacked them earlier. They wanted to be angry, to hate every human. They knew it would keep them safer than the alternative. Yet, despite how deep the distrusting stares wounded them, despite the years-old familiar voice reminding them of just what humans will do to them if they ever give them the chance, they couldn’t bring themself to hate Gorman. 

Gordon’s map was completely useless, the sun was going down, and that snake, that “Benrey” kept fucking staring at them. He would turn around and they would just be staring straight through his eyes and into his soul, then look away, almost. . . shyly? Gordon couldn’t help but let his mind wander for a moment, wondering about them. If you could ignore the scales peppering their bare chest and the tail they slithered next to him on, they were almost a little. . . cute? Was that the word? The way they peered out from their rusty, probably stolen helmet was certainly something. It was the only thing Gordon could think of, but, somehow, it didn’t seem quite right. Maybe “intense”? Their eyes could certainly be described as such. Those damn eyes, they held everything and nothing, all the emotion and apathy Gordon had ever seen, as if they couldn’t even hold a candle to what the snake was thinking. Despite their intrusion the night before, despite still being unsure of their intentions, despite the fact that they could probably kill him with their bare hands in under a minute, despite the quiet, nagging voice telling him that this was a trap, that Benrey would turn on him any second now, Gordon couldn’t quite feel scared of them.

The researcher finally tore his mind away from his impromptu hiking buddy, and realized that he was somehow even more lost than before, and, as if this godforsaken jungle communed with the sun itself out of an undying need to make his expedition shittier and shittier, the sky was now almost completely dark. Gordon sank to the muddy ground to take another futile look at his map, leaning against a large rocky outcropping behind him; something on the rough stone surface seemed to catch Benrey’s attention.

“oh! oh dude, don’t worry, i know where we are.”

“What?” Gordon asked, unsure of how willing he was to rely on the snake’s navigational skills. 

“yeah, there should be a path right. . . yup! this is it! follow me gorman, we’ll- we’re going home bro!”

“Gorman??” He ran for a moment to catch up with Benrey, who was rapidly disappearing into the dense, dark foliage. While Gordon didn’t fully trust the snake-creature, he certainly didn’t want to be left completely alone in the rapidly darkening jungle. 

As the pair reached a small clearing, Gordon saw movement in a tree above him; a long something was slithering down from the branch. He jerked his head back to look at Benrey, who was very clearly still on the ground. He tried to reassure himself that it was probably just a regular, armless snake, but when he turned back, the shadowy figure had reached the hard-packed dirt, and Gordon could very clearly see that it not only had long, wiry arms tipped in claws, but that it was also much, much larger than benrey; the new creature’s tail was at least twenty feet long.

A sharp, scratchy voice cut through the trees, 

“Yo, who the FUCK is that??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MIIIISTAAAAAAAAHH SAAAAAAAAANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHS


	4. Panicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gordon freaks the fuck out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was written at 5 am so its probably a bit wonky, i did run spellcheck tho

Towering over him, the new snake-creature began to slither towards him. Gordon fumbled in his bag, yanking the survival knife from its oiled-leather sheath strapped to the side of the pack, and frantically rooting through his bag for the flashlight, which he finally tugged from under the tangle of camera cords.

Gordon snapped the light on, and pointed it up at what he now realized was the largest snake he had seen in his entire life. Its muddy-green, spotted tail, far thicker than he was, stretched from tree to tree, leading finally to the packed-earth floor to end in a human torso at least twice as large as his own. The creature’s head was reminiscent of a stack of bricks, and the heavy brow, strong jaw and cheekbones, and roman nose that had clearly been broken before did little to dissuade this appearance. Thick, dusty brown hair looked to have begun to outgrow a buzzcut, and a red beret perched on their head looked comically small. 

Their bare chest was thick and muscular, littered with numerous scars, some old enough to nearly blend in with their cool-brown skin, others so new that they looked to still be healing. Sharp, green scales, so dark they could almost be mistaken for black, interlocked over their shoulders, and a few lighter green scales peppered their chest and abdomen.

Gordon’s legs felt weak; he turned to Benrey, who was already slithering forward to confront the massive serpent.

“oh hey bro! it’s me, what- whats up?”

Freeman suddenly realized what was going on here. Benrey, that damnable beast, had led him straight into a trap; they had put on mock friendliness in order to lure him back to their den of buddies; Gordon could see more long, slender figures draped in the branches above as the new serpent slithered towards him. 

That fuckfaced snake had sold him out. 

The researcher snatched his still open bag from the ground and slung it over his back, not caring that his supplies were leaking out and clattering to the earth floor. The protests of the monstrous creatures behind him were tuned out into background noise as he launched back down the trail from his near-frozen posture, and, at the sight of Benrey following behind him, calling out to him with words he couldn’t quite process in his panicked state, Gordon sprinted off the trail and into the dense, damp jungle. The dense trees above blocked out the scarce remaining light as dusk overwhelmed the forest; Freeman could barely see his own hands as he rushed deeper into the forest, only finally slowing to a brisk walk after almost five full minutes sprinting at full tilt.

Exhausted and wheezing from his impromptu exercise session, Gordon slung his bag off of his shoulders, and his stomach bottomed out when he felt how light it was. As he blindly searched for his canteen, desperate for some much-needed hydration, he found that not only was the metal container missing, but his map, his notebook, and most of his rations were gone as well. He realized that by leaving his backpack unzipped before attempting to set a new personal record for long-distance track might not have been the best course of action. 

As he watched the last of the dying sunlight disappear through the dense, lush jungle canopy, Gordon Freeman realized that he was kind of fucked.


	5. Someone New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> homie is here!!

Slimy and damp, the cold soil of the jungle floor could be felt through Gordon’s thin sleeping bag; the lightweight, flexible nylon was quickly becoming moist in turn as he shifted uncomfortably above it. His near-empty rucksack was situated under his head as a makeshift pillow; the loose, breathable design of the sleeping bag allowed more than a few long strands of curly, auburn-brown hair to drag in the rain-slicked ground. Though the interlocking branches above him kept the majority of the light rain off of his exposed face, a few drops made it through, the surprisingly warm water striking his warm, russet skin at annoyingly sporadic intervals.

The tent must have fallen out at some point, and, considering the noises, the damned shrieking and howling, the things that almost sounded like laughter to his sleep-deprived mind, Gordon had opted not to go back for it. Unseen creatures chittered and jabbered above him; insects swarmed in vast hordes around his unprotected face. Damp fern leaves dribbled rainwater onto him, and he closed his eyes, thinking only of his warm bed back home in the suburbs of Washington, and his son, his child Joshua, who he had left behind with his ex to take a research trip into a hellhole of a jungle just to have a bunch of fucking snake monsters try to eat him.

Gordon mentally slacked off for a moment, and allowed his mind to wander; was what he saw even real? Now, away from the serpents, alone, the day seemed like a haze, and he found himself questioning his own perception, and his memories seemed even more fuzzy at the creeping doubt; his experiences, his thoughts became fallible, they became less solid in his mind, to that plague of the will, that doubt.

As he tried to reconcile the day’s events with his doubt, the researcher failed to notice the thin, lanky shadow that had appeared in front of him, having been unable to pick out the slender, serpentine body descending from the trees in the near pitch-black darkness until they were nearly on top of him. At the familiar brush of a warm, muscular tail, Gordon jerked away in fear, his doubts disappearing from his mind like fog in front of a fan. He flailed around in a decidedly undignified in his sleeping bag, panic gripping his mind like a steel vise as the snake loomed over him.

“O-Oh! I’m so sorry for- for frightening you, sir. My name’s Tommy.”

At that, the serpent was illuminated in a burst of light, and their silhouette finally fully resolved. Gordon found some small reassurance in the sight of a tall, wiry frame rather than Benrey’s larger body type; this new snake’s thin, sharp-scaled tail was bright, banana yellow, and speckled with darker brown scales; bright, almost neon yellow scales peppered their warm, coppery skin, and a surprisingly clean propeller hat was slung over fluffy, dark brown hair.

Their face was sharp, almost roughly triangular, with sharp, high cheekbones, a narrow jawline, and a long, stubby nose; their eyes were massive; golden scleras were shot through with lines of lighter yellow and darker flakes of amber. Subtle lines and creases betrayed older age, though they clearly still had a sense of fun, considering the flashy yellow button-up, the scattered rainbow patterns were particularly eye-catching.

“Hello? Are you ok?”

Gordon’s focus was suddenly forced from the serpent’s physical features, and he stuttered for a moment before choking out what could ostensibly be called a coherent series of words.

“You- who are you?? Where the hell is Benrey?”

The snake stepped-or rather slithered-back, and Gordon shifted to a sitting position as they replied.

“My name’s Tommy. Benrey is- Benrey’s back home, they wanted me to make sure you were alright.”

His eyes narrowed, and he shifted to stand as Tommy edged towards the treeline, clearly aware of Gordon’s hunting knife.

“Well, I’m clearly fine, no thanks to them. So-what, you probably want me to come back with you? Because that’s NOT fucking happening.”

“Well- Mr. Gorman, it’s not safe! There’s lots of creatures around, they- you could get hurt!”

“Well, Benrey was trying to have me killed anyways. How the fuck is that any better than being killed by a, a uh. . .” Shit. Gordon knew how dangerous it was to be in the middle of the jungle at night, especially without a tent. Tommy knew just as well, and as Gordon reluctantly stood, they moved to help him pack up his few remaining belongings, moving slowly so as to not startle him.

Finally, after rolling up and stashing his muddied sleeping bag, the researcher slung his depressingly light rucksack over his shoulders, and let Tommy lead him through the damp, nearly pitch-black foliage, back towards the other serpents, despite his growing anxiety for the situation.


	6. Gorman!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> strogg are cool i think

Overhead, nocturnal creatures chittered and screeched, doing little to settle Gordon’s frayed nerves as he followed the yellow serpent down a near-invisible trail; even if he had been in its vicinity earlier, he certainly would have passed right over it. 

The path being as overgrown as it was, the pair slogged through dense bushes and ferns, damp with cool moisture from the earlier rains, and incredibly annoying to Gordon, who was quite honestly sick of the entire mission already, despite only being three days into the hellish expedition. 

After nearly half an hour of walking with the new snake-person in the closest thing to silence that could be achieved in a jungle, Tommy stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, allowing a pinkish forked tongue to flit out from between his lips. Seemingly satisfied by this inquiry, he turned to Gordon and said,

“We’re here, Mr. Gorman!”

Tommy pushed ahead through a particularly dense stand of ferns, his slender yellow tail seeming to disappear into the foliage, prompting Gordon, who didn’t particularly want to be left behind in this green hell, to follow, carefully avoiding stepping on the muscular appendage as he felt his way through the cold, damp fronds.

When he finally found his way out of the overwhelming greenery, Gordon found himself in an eerily familiar place; though the clearing had become even less visible over time, he could still recognize it as the only open space he had seen for days; he looked up nervously at the trees, searching for the massive serpent that he had encountered earlier.

“Hey, Tommy, are- are you sure that this place is safe?”

“Well- Of course! Me and my friends live here together, me and- Uhh, Bubby, what are- Oh dear.”

Before he could ask who “Bubby” was, Gordon felt something heavy crash into his shoulders, forcing the air from his lungs and knocking him to the ground. He struggled to stand, but as soon as he moved, the horridly familiar sensation of a sleek, powerful muscle coiling against his legs could be felt. Gordon recoiled from the touch, but the serpent shoved him back down; a massive clawed talon shoved his head into the cold, slimy mud before he could get a glimpse of his assailant.

“HA HA! Get fucked, nerd!”

From his position on the ground, Gordon could see Tommy’s bright, banana-yellow tail slithering towards him, still illuminated by the rusty flashlight held in his oversized talons. He tried to choke out a cry for help, or perhaps an accusation, but the thick, muscular tail pinning his neck to the ground ensured that no sound escaped.

“Wait- Bubby, get off of Mr. Gorman! He’s a friend!”

“Huh? Tommy, the fuck are you going on about?”

The pressure on his neck and head lightened, and Gordon was able to speak again, 

“You motherfucker! You sold me out to your, your fucking snake friends, huh? Your little buddies??”

“N-No, Gorman! Bubby is friendly, he’s just. . .”

Tommy slithered up to the snake currently situated on top of Gordon, whispering something into his pointed ear that caused him to finally, if begrudgingly, move off of Gordon. He staggered to his feet, lurching around to face the serpent behind him.

They were just as massive as all the other damn snakes, eight foot tall at the least, with a lanky, rail-thin frame; bright, danger-red scales coated their talons and peppered their bony chest and shoulders. The sleek, serpentine tail below their waist was banded with cherry red, poison yellow, and pitch black scales; Gordon wished he had remembered the difference in pattern between a harmless corn snake and a lethal coral snake.

They were clearly old, with plenty of wrinkles in their cold-brown skin, and graying, balding hair to match. Their face was thin and sharp, and with a narrow chin, high, visible cheekbones, and beady black eyes, their human anatomy matched their snake parts well. 

Gordon stumbled back from Bubby, eager to get out of their striking range, sure that with his luck, they really were venomous. Looking almost embarrassed for having tackles him, they asked,

“Uhh, human, why are you here??”

Tommy interjected before Gordon could respond.

“Mr. Gorman was lost in the jungle! He needs our help!”

Bubby’s expression soured, clearly not eager to take in some random human that had just been found wandering around in the forest.

“Are you sure he won’t, I dunno, piss on the furniture or something?”

Gordon opened his mouth to give an indignant retort, however, Tommy put an arm out in front of him, clearly signalling to let them handle this. Jesus, were their arms always that long? Gordon suddenly felt tiny around the two enormous serpents. 

“He won’t, he can sleep in my room if it makes you feel better!”

“God, fine, just make sure he doesn’t fuck anything up. Darnold’s still working on his potions, and if any of them got broken he would be pissed.”

With that, Bubby slithered away from the pair, over to what looked like. . . a trapdoor? It was a heavy, rusted steel trapdoor, just off to the side of the clearing. How the hell did he miss that? The snake heaved the thing up with a squeal of rusty metal and slid into the tunnel, prompting Tommy to slither over as well, ushering Gordon over as well. Looking down, he saw a tight, cramped concrete pit, about ten feet into the ground, reminiscent of something from a cold-war era bunker, with a few ladder rungs embedded into the walls. Gordon briefly wondered how a snake could possibly use a ladder, but as Tommy answered his silent questioning by looping the end of his tail around the first rung and simply sliding down the rest.

“C-Come on, Gorman, slide- or, uh, climb down!”

Gordon tore his mind away from snake physics and climbed on down, meeting Tommy a little ways down a tight hallway, made of the same cold, neutral concrete as the entrance. They pulled a heavy, steel door open with a click, and ushered Gordon in, closing the door behind them with a resounding thud.

“yo tommy! you found him!!”

God fucking damnit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alt title for this one is "BUBBY U DOUCHENOZZLE"


End file.
